Relationships are vital for our sustenance. However, relationships are the same reason we are disturbed. We always feel what we know, believe and understand is right and when the other person comes from a different point of view we feel he is not informed or is naïve, otherwise, how can he disagree.
What we don’t understand is every human being has its own values, belief systems which shape his or her point of view. This is simply because we are born and brought up in a different environment and what we see, hear, and feel shapes our beliefs. Since we are different we also have a different perspective, failing to understand which creates friction.
Understanding the other’s perspective can be tough. However, with little patience, flexibility and time you will not only be able to understand the other’s perspective but it will also add greatly to your own vision and improve your relationship with the person. It all starts with understanding your own behavior, How do you start interacting, how do you continue, & what triggers inside you resulting in a behavior which derails the communication.
Next, listen patiently. It is important to understand that even if we speak the same language, the meaning of words and sentences can be different from person to person, simply because of the environment we are brought up in. As you listen more carefully you will be able to understand and appreciate the other person’s thought process which will be fruitful in building a healthy relationship.
The mistake we often commit is that we don’t listen, disagree and enter into a state of denial. Plus, the objective is to drive home the point of view, diminishing the others self and this is damaging the relationship.
To understand the others perspective step into the shoe of the other person, try and understand the good intention he has for you.
By asking simple questions like “Why do you say what you are saying”, “What do you know which I don’t” and “What have you experienced which makes you believe “ These questions will open up the conversation and allow you to understand his point of view.
When you understand the other’s perspective it leads to a shift in their thought process. They also become more receptive, share information and feel secure that you will not bulldoze their beliefs and values. The need to amplify feelings in order to be heard will also reduce, you will no longer need to defend your point of view and this will create an environment where you will be able to build a healthy mutually benefiting relationship.